


For The Things I've Done

by berryblonde



Series: DBH Rarepair Week [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 06:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17575460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berryblonde/pseuds/berryblonde
Summary: Apologizing had never been Gavin's forte.Written for DBH Rarepair Week Day 1, prompt: First Kiss/"Please don't go".





	For The Things I've Done

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this from my phone rn BC I'll be away from home until the late evening and I have to say  
> I hate posting from my phone  
> I hope you guys enjoy this tho!!

_ Thud, thud, thud. _

Loud steps echoed heavily on the pavement that led up to Anderson’s house, hands curled into tight fists, shoved into his pocket, knuckles white and his teeth gritted.

Apologizing had never been Gavin’s forte, especially not after screwing up so colossally. His shoulder was still aching from where it had been dislocated hours prior, a dull pain still shooting through it from time to time whenever he moved to abruptly, too carelessly.

And carelessness was what had put him into this situation in the first place, wasn’t it? Him being reckless while at work wasn’t new— Gavin had never held his own safety in high regard when it came to his work. What mattered was getting shit  _ done _ , not playing nice and taking care of himself. Injuries and near-death experiences were part of the job description, anyone in their field of work who said otherwise was either naïve or a liar.

Yet Connor had seemed so… upset, so distraught when Gavin’s bulletproof vest had been hit by a small, metallically gleaming projectile, and the Detective himself had gone tumbling down, hitting his head and dislocating his shoulder in the process.

Maybe Gavin  _ had  _ been reckless, had been a bit too careless, a bit to self-assured in trying to get their suspect to drop the gun he had aimed at him, a bit too mocking, a bit too arrogant and cocky. Maybe he had paid a bit too little attention to the other’s movements, the other’s facial expression as he stared down the barrel of a gun, hilariously sure that things would go over well anyways.

Connor ended up having to shoot their suspect.

Things hadn’t ended well either when the paramedics got done with him and he had received some pain killers that he had dumped into one of his drawers without any intention to use them, not with Connor following him around like a goddamn poodle (and he hated having to agree with Anderson here— Connor indeed seemed to resemble a dog more than he did a human at times). The android had continued to fuss over him and chastise him at every opportunity, telling him how he  _ needed to take better care of himself _ , nagging about his refusal to take any of the painkillers he had been given, his refusal to stay with the paramedics or go to the hospital to get his head checked out.

When he hadn’t been able to take the android’s cornering and nagging and  _ worrying _ , he had done what he always did. Had let anger take over, let it guide him, while all he could do was follow its lead until there was nothing more left to be said.

Had spun around, ignoring the pain in his shoulder and raised his voice, shouting at Connor to stop treating him as if he was incapable of making his own choices, treating him like a fucking child, like he was stupid, an idiot, to stop acting like he gave a shit about Gavin’s life and well-being.

As soon as he had shouted those last words, he regretted it immediately, unable to do anything but watch as Connor’s LED turned from yellow (it had been yellow the whole time ever since they got away from the crime scene) to red, blinking rapidly before the android spun around and left, slamming the door of Gavin’s apartment shut behind him.

So, he had screwed up. Had driven away one of the few people who did seem to care, who were  _ concerned _ about his well-being with hurtful, untrue words, just because he refused to be told what to do.

Anderson’s door in front of him looked cold and unwelcoming as he stepped up to it, standing on the porch, trying to peer through curtain-clad window, to no avail.

With a sigh, he raised his and moved it towards the buzzer, limbs feeling heavy and tongue tied.

What did he even want to say? He needed to apologize if he wanted any chance at saving what they had, even if he still wasn’t sure how it had even come to be. Despite their rocky, ugly past, they had somehow, through some miracle or simply through Connor’s never-ending kindness and optimism and willingness to see the good in people, grown closer, first to friends and then…  _ something more _ , even if they hadn’t been dating —  _ dating! _ — for more than a few months now, everything still new and foreign and scary.

Gavin inhaled deeply, reached out, and pressed the buzzer.

Nothing.

He looked over towards the window, the light behind the curtains flickering.

Pressed the buzzer again.

Clunky steps were to be heard from the inside, then they stopped, only to be replaced but lighter ones, more graceful ones.

When the door swung open Gavin stood face to face with Connor, LED still yellow and features expressionless.

“I have to ask you to leave, Detective. This is private property, and you have not been permitted to step onto it.” He gulped. Connor addressing him by his formal title instead of his name hurt more than he would have liked to admit.

“Connor, listen, I—”

“Like you listened to me?”

“Look, I’m—” He stopped, words stuck in his throat, mouth dry as he stared at the android, barely noticing the shuffling in the background.

“I’m—” It was just one word, one measly word that he needed to get out, that couldn’t be this hard, could it? Connor kept watching him.

“I’m— I— I’m sorry,” he whispered, feeling himself almost choke on his apology. Apologies wasn’t something he was good at.

“I’m— I’m sorry,” he repeated, louder this time. “I’m sorry for yelling at you, for snapping like— like that when you— when all you did was worry about me, I’m— I’m really fucking sorry, okay? It’s just what I always do when I feel so fucking cornered, I snap and I get angry because how the fuck else do I deal with emotions?” He ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m— that doesn’t excuse anything, of course it doesn’t, but fuck— It’s an explanation, isn’t it? I’m— I shouldn’t have said what I said, I know you’re not trying to baby me or some bullshit.” The words kept just tumbling out, and Connor’s face never changed.

“I shouldn’t have accused you of not caring about me, I know you do. I’m really sorry, Connor.”

“Are you really sorry for saying those things, or are you sorry for causing me to react the way I did?”

The Detective’s heart was pounding in his chest, hands still curled to fists, clammy with sweat.

“Of course I’m sorry about saying those things I’m— I was just— angry, I guess, because I don’t like being told what to do, and even being—- being told to be careful felt like that,” he admitted, averting his eyes, not wanting to see the unreadable mask Connor was wearing.

“I’m— I’m really sorry, Connor and I— I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered, unable to look at the other. “I know I screwed up, but I’m truly sorry.”

Silence. A few seconds, minutes, maybe hours. Gavin wasn’t sure. He had lost complete track of time, unable to tell how much had passed since he had ended his clumsy apology, since Connor had refused to say even just a word to him.

Without a last look at the other he turned around. He couldn’t do this right now, couldn’t hear Connor telling him that he fucked up too much this time— or worse, not saying anything at all, wordlessly telling him that he didn’t even want to bother with him anymore.

And then, a hand grabbed his arm. Surprised, he stopped dead in his tracks but before he had a chance to properly look at Connor again, he was pulled close into a tight embrace.

“Please don’t go,” Connor breathed against Gavin’s shoulder, burying his face in the fabric of the other’s jacket.

“Why do you think I was so angry with you for being careless? I— I don’t want to lose you either.”

He lifted his head to look at Gavin, eyes full of warmth and compassion and concern. “I shouldn’t have ordered you around like I did either, I’m sorry.”

His hand moved up from where it had been resting on Gavin’s arm to his cheek, softly caressing it with his thumb. Gavin’s breath hitched.

“It’s— It’s fine,” he mumbled, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks, leaning into the by now familiar touch.

“I’m still sorry, and— and I accept your apology.” With a small smile he tilted Gavin’s head upwards, pressing their foreheads together.

“Just— “

“I’ll try and be more careful,” Gavin whispered, interrupting him, already knowing what the other was going to ask of him.

“Thank you,” Connor breathed back, closing the distance between them and pressing his lips, his soft, flawless lips, onto Gavin’s own, chapped ones, tentative, soft, curious, careful. Gavin didn’t need to think before his eyes fluttered shut and he reciprocated the kiss. He was scared, unsure what the future would bring, too many words he still couldn't say still stuck between them, unable to express how much Connor actually meant to him, words he hoped he could convey with a kiss, one that felt as searching, as uncertain, as hopeful as their first one all those months back.

He didn’t even notice Connor’s LED turning back to blue as he smiled into their kiss.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and don't forget to leave me your thoughts!  
> feel free to drop by and talk to me on tumblr [@unacceptable-bisexual](https://unacceptable-bisexual.tumblr.com), or join the [convin discord server](https://discord.gg/93AUA7B)! I'm always happy to hear from you guys <3


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